Musings on Mom Friends

I’ve been a mom for 13 years. My approach to friending/friendship with moms has evolved over the years. My workstatus is a huge factor.

As a WAHM from 1996 through 2002 I maintained a close friendship with two people I worked with who left and had babies at same time as me. We met for playdates. I did not have time for any other friendships. I met two neighbors through our kids, but that is all. My friends all had children the same age as my two children — so I had instant and immediate friendships for both my girls.

As a SAHM from 2002 through 2008, my friendship circle exploded. I joined a scrapbooking group, a playgroup, a neighborhood walking group, a Book Club, a moms club, a playgroup at my church, and finally a cooperative preschool. Some of my friendships overlapped between groups. My daughter also started elementary school so I met a bunch of moms through PTA and classroom volunteering.

Add in a 3rd child born in 2003 and I met a new bunch of moms. My 3rd child benefitted from my nonworkstatus as he socialized with more kids and I met more moms.

The only downside was when I enrolled my son in preschool at age 3. It was in 2006-2008, and I was friended out. None of the kids in his class were going to his elem. school. I made very little effort to establish friendships. I was a Hi and Bye mom for the most part — many of the moms were doing the same thing as it was their youngest in preschool, too. We had one or two playdates, a couple of McDonald’s lunches, but that was it. But, you know what it was actually quite refreshing. I was making the transition to graduate school and back to gainful employment so my focus was not on making friends for me, but on making friends for my son to have.

My friendship circle has expanded to include online friends who I have never met and those who I have met IRL. I tweet with these friends on a regular basis. Bloggie and twitter friends are good friends to have.

So, what is your friendship policy? How has it evolved over the years? Do you have more mom friends for one child over the rest? I’d love to know.


4 comments for “Musings on Mom Friends

  1. Melissa Multitasking Mama
    June 5, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    I had my kids so close together that most of my friends in the early years came from moms groups, karate, soccer, etc. Now that they are tweens and teens I have mom friends with kids of all ages, mostly because I am a WAHM and have that in common with a lot of my friends regardless of the age of our kid(s).

    Great post- I enjoy rememberin those SAHM days when the boys were little (although when there were three 5 and under, I didn’t enjoy it as much as in hindsight LOL)

  2. Kate Dino
    June 7, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    I’ve only developed mom friendships through my third child. I’ve been a salary mom throughout my child-rearing years to date, and that’s had a big impact on me getting to know other moms in my neighborhood (though I did score a few playdates in meeting other salary moms on the job).

    I like your new blog layout.

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    June 8, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    Hey, great post, very well written. You should write more about this.

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    June 10, 2009 at 2:13 pm

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