I did NOT frantically search through mountains of laundry looking for a volleyball uniform which I should have had washed, folded, and ready to go early in the week.
I did NOT become totally relieved to find said volleyball uniform already washed, folded, and ready to go.
I did NOT relax when I realized that no one in my family noticed the possible mistake.
I did NOT place two farecards in the ticket machine at McPherson Square Convention Center Metro Station and then when the tickets were spit out of the machine and I saw the error message “see attendant.” I did NOT then go to the station attendant and NOT admit that I had place two cards in the machine. I did NOT make it seem as though it was an error of the Metro, NOT me. No, NOT me.
I did NOT smuggle in two cans of Diet coke, two bottles of Vitamin Water, one can of Fritos, several granola and cereal bars to a volleyball tournament where it was forbidden to bring in food or drink of any kind.
I did NOT gasp and stagger back as I saw that the concession stand were selling the following:
Foggy Bottom Burger — $8.50
Small YoPlait Yogurt — $2.75
Can of Diet Coke — $3
French Fries — $4.50
I did NOT fall over backward at the audacity of the D.C. Convention Center daring to sell food at these exorbitant prices. Huummpph!
I did NOT get totally steamed that my daughter did not play for a huge portion of one match.
I did NOT get totally psyched when my daughter then played the better part of the rest of the match.
I did NOT say to myself that the life of a parent of an athlete is full of highs and lows and ups and downs — as far as playing time for each player, effort level of each player, why some players stay on the court even when they are not playing well while other players make a mistake and immediately sub out., etc.
I did NOT scratch my head at issues which seem mysterious to me a nonathletic parent of athletes.
I did NOT jump up and down in my see as the developmental optometrist gave me an answer to why my daughter is not doing well in math this year — her eyes are not aligned. No I did NOT feel a sudden sense of relief hearing tat we may have found a reason for her inconsistent math tests.
I did NOT just write this post…I most emphatically did NOT.