A 5-Year-Old Boy Needs His Daddy

Kind of wondering if a Dyson could clean up my 5-year-old’s behavior?

Struggling today, really struggling with my son. He is in that “knows what he wants to do and Will do whatever he wants to do phase.” I am being driven slowly insane as I deal with him and his demanding behavior.

Lately he is not happy unless he is with Daddy. It’s “when is Daddy coming home?” and “No, I want to play with Daddy.” He’s 5 and I know that 5-year-old boys are all about dad, but can’t he give me somewhat of a break. I’m the one at home all the time and I get the distinct impression that he would rather not interact with me at all. He wants his dad until the cows come home. Hmmppphhh.

The sad thing is that he has been getting in trouble lately. Irritating his sisters. Not doing as he is told. Time out after time out. Chores as punishment. He has lost toys due to bad behavior. It has gotten to the point where he will be in so much trouble that he is loses the chance to play wii with his dad. I try to leave the wii as my final bargaining chip. I hold it out as a “If you do that one more time, you will lose the wii time with Daddy.” I should not involve my husband in matters that happen when he is at work or volleyball practice, but I feel powerless. In fairness I cannot let him have privileges that are fun if he is not going to be respectful of my wishes. I am very much at my wits’ end.

Two nights ago at the health club. I picked him up from the kids’ club. We were walking back to my middle daughter. When he announced “I’m going to the basketball court.” I said No to him two times. He said he was going anyway. He’s 5 and does not listen to me. It is beyond frustrating. So, he walked away from me and headed towards the basketball court. He walked through the weight training area. My first thought was “what if he gets hit with a weight” and my next thought was to just walk away and see what his reaction was. He came running back to me and was frightened that I had walked away from him. I told him he needed to listen. Scary stuff.

This type of incident goes on all day here. Here’s the funny thing. At school he is a model citizen. Rarely gets in to the “yellow” category for misbehaving. I think he saves up all his bad behavior until the end of the school day and then he unleashes it on me. Woohoo! Yay Me! Boo!

Any suggestions on how to deal with a defiant, only wants his Daddy, nothing seems to bother him 5-year-old? I’m all ears!

2 comments for “A 5-Year-Old Boy Needs His Daddy

  1. Angela
    March 15, 2009 at 3:32 am

    I don’t have experience with five year olds yet myself, but I do know that kids go through phases like this and it can’t last forever! (we hope… :P)

    It sounds like you’re doing the right thing with the punishments. Do you have a reward system set up for when he does something good? Maybe if you have a set amount of Father Son Video game time you can promise him ten extra minutes if he behaves well or something along those lines?

  2. Genesis
    March 15, 2009 at 2:57 pm

    I personally think taking away his Wii time with Daddy is an excellent choice of punishment . . . you have to choose something that matters to him!

    I also agree with Angela, having a reward system might help. Often kids will respond best to reward. One trick that works VERY well with this age group is the marble jar. You buy a bag of marbles and put about ten into a small jar. Keep the rest nearby, but out of reach. Every time he does something good, like pick up after himself or treat his sisters or you respectfully, you add a marble to the jar. And every time he doesn`t listen or has a fit, you take one out. At the end of the day, if he has more than 10 marbles, he gets to pick a prize from the prize box. This would just be a shoebox with a few fun party prizes in it, like a small car, noisemaker, or whatever would be fun for him.

    If you keep track of the number of marbles for a week, he could “save” points to earn something bigger, like an extra 15 minutes of Wii time. So if he gets 15 marbles every day for 7 days, he would get the bigger prize.

    That`s something my sisters and I used when we were nannies.

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