Phases of My Children’s Development I Don’t Miss

My kids are 7, 11, and 14. Life chugs along. Some days are frantic. Some days are slow. Never dull. Always a challenge. My children still surprise me. Still frustrate me. Still inspire me to be the best mom/person that I can be.

I had a few minutes at the pool today to dwell on how far the children have come. I reflected on the phases of my children’s development that I miss. And don’t miss.

In the “Oh, I miss that phase column”

The sweet newborn sleep — AKA “Never wake a sleeping baby!”
The newborn first smile that may or may not have been due to gas.
First giggle.
First coo.
First reach for a hanging object.
First sitting up until the baby toppled over.
First food.
First time baby holds the spoon until it gets messy and then…
First rollover, crawl, step, walk, run, skip until the baby/toddler falls…
First day of school or first time preschooler is dropped off and doesn’t cry.

First time a little kid insists on helping clean. Demands the sponge. Hangs on to the mop for dear life.
First time your child pays attention to a video or TV show…for the teen it was Sesame Street and then Teletubbies, for the tween it was Bear in the Big Blue House, and for the kid it was Thomas, Bob the Builder, or Handy Manny.
As we all know, a kid watching a TV means that mom can take a shower!
First artwork or written word.
First sentences/book read to mom or dad.
Anything cute that comes home in the backpack that the child gushes over. Teens bring very little home from school. If I didn’t have the online grading program, I would not know what is going on with my teen.
The huge birthday party for the 5-8-year-old crowd.
The sleepover party or big kid birthday party where the kids are not rowdy — still in this phase.

Now for the “Oh boy am I glad that phase is over!

The silent cry — the teen
The loud cry — the tween
The deafening cry — the kid
The first time a toddler throws a bowl, cup, spoon and gets a reaction, which means the toddler does it again, and again, and again.
The throwing of objects at people or other things — one toddler threw a sippy cup so hard it left a dent in the wall. Another kid clunked me in the nose with a sippy cup. Yet another kid jumped up in to my chin as I was drying her off after her bath. Ouch.
The first of many times that a baby or toddler or preschooler falls.
Temper tantrums.
The biting. One baby bit my husband on the stomach. Another baby bit me on the shoulder.
Timeouts — thank the Lord we are done with those.
The scrapes on the wall from the kid who got in trouble while in timeout.
The timeouts that go on and on because the child won’t sit in the timeout.
The fruitless attempts to clean the scrapes off the wall with the Magic Eraser.

The phases that are ongoing

The sibling rivalry.
Sibling telling tales on another sibling.
The “I didn’t do it and I don’t know who did it.”
The first snarky remark from the elementary schooler.
The first time a kid leaves a homework assignment or a notebook at school. We’re still technically in this phase!
The first lie. And the fallout from the lie.
Crabby tween-teen behavior. Still in this phase too!
Crabby behavior from a little kid who thinks he is a tween-teen.
The slamming of the door.
The pout.
The whining.
The stomping of feet.