I Have No Words for Violence Against Women

Tonight — after an absolutely delightful Easter Sunday we witnessed an absolutely un-delightful event.

Driving home from my in-laws house my husband and I spotted a person lying beside the road. The road is tree-lined, dark, and not very well-travelled. Directly in front of the person lying on the ground was a parked car. Both the person and the car were on the grass beside the road. My first thought was that the person had crashed her car and crawled along the side of the road.

We pulled over and I asked her if she was O.K. Once we were beside the person I could see that it was a woman in her 30s who was lying in a very awkward position. Left leg over right leg at an odd angle. Not moving. Crying and whining. After about 10 attempts I got her to acknowledge me — I wanted to know her name so that I could let her know that I was trying to help her. I talked to her from the car for a few minutes — after looking toward the bushes and the road I made the decision to get out of the car. I wanted to be close to the person as she was hysterically crying. I did worry about my safety. What if the boyfriend came back for her? What if she was faking her injuries in order to steal our car? I did think of this but really felt that I was safe to stand by the side of the road.

While I talked to the woman my husband called 911. The 911 dispatch asked us to ask her some questions. She was able to tell us what had happened. Here’s where the story takes a turn for the worse. It was not a car accident. Oh, she was riding in a car, but she was physically ejected from the car by her boyfriend.

She told us her boyfriend’s name, date of birth, address, and the car he was driving in — we relayed this information to the 911 dispatch. She was able to give this information — as she was a little calmer, still crying but not as hysterical. Such a scary situation. All the time I stood beside her she only moved her ankle and foot and one hand. She was very injured.

She told me that her boyfriend was drunk. He was driving drunk and she wanted him to pull over. He grabbed her as she reached for his cell phone. At some point he smashed her face in the car window and pushed her out of the car. Her shoe was off so she could have been dragged.

I was relieved to see two police cars and two ambulances as I knew she would be getting help. Also, about 3 cars and one person who lived across the road had come to the accident and stopped. Each time a new vehicle arrived she would get more hysterical. I know she thought it was the boyfriend. I do not know what I would have done if a drunk person had stopped and come at me or her or my husband. I would have been unable to fully defend myself. I was so glad to see the cops pull up.

BTW, I was int he minivan with my husband and my three children. We locked the children in the minivan as we dealt with the situation. My oldest daughter said my middle daughter just kept her eyes covered. My son was a talking machine asking lots of questions. When you are 6 every situation is new.

Sadly, I had hoped not to explain bad people and bad situations to my children. Seriously do a 13 yo, 10 yo, and 6 yo need to know about domestic violence! We kept our explanation brief. I explained to them that you always stop and call for help. But, first you make sure that you are safe — I sat in the car with the window rolled down a little while my husband called 911. I told my children that I got out of the car when I knew that there was little chance that the boyfriend was hiding in the bushes. I really felt that she needed a person to stand next to her. I did not touch her as she looked very injured, but I did stand by her. Message to my kids: Be a Good Samaritan! Don’t look the other way and go by. Stop and help your fellow man or woman!

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