Oh to Be a Blogging Mom with Little Kids

My tween and teen give me PLENTY to blog about. The arguments. The hissy fits. The temper tantrums. The pouty lips. The rolled eyes. But…

…I can barely blog about any of it. You see my girls read my blog. It would be uber awkward for one of them to read a post about them that they considered to be embarrassing. Note: Any post I wrote about with any level of detail would be considered embarrassing.

I started blogging when my youngest was a preschooler. I “got serious” about blogging the fall he entered kindergarten. My son is still quite bloggable. He’s a character. Like his sisters, he is not easy. There are times I want to tear my hair out. I am already gray so cann0t blame his antics on my gray. I wish I could blog as freely about his sisters.

Most days I could do with a good pee-poop-barf story. Some very bloggable incidents that I would have blogged about then and would LOVE to have available to blog about now… No names or identifying details are included to protect the innocent. Let’s recap a few incidents From my pre-blogging days…

projectile vomit coming from the face of a smiley baby who had stomach flu that day before. Why oh why did I give a full 8-ounce bottle?
poop dripped on the floor, carpet, staircase, changing table, clothes, and oh me after a particularly awful hasty-did-not-make-it-to-the-changing-table diaper change.
a toddler who intently watched an episode of the Teletubbies about Po jumping in and out of a puddle who then peed on the kitchen floor and jumped in and out of the puddle of pee singing the same song about the puddle that Po sang.
a trip to the shoe store where one toddler had an explosive diaper incident after drinking apple juice for the first time at a Mexican restaurant. Anyone remember Chi Chis? I think we had 5 explosive diaper incidents at this shoe store after a meal at Chi Chi’s. Anyone remember Chanticleer Stride Rite in Gaithersburg?
The numerous pairs of underwear — from the “child who would not do #2 on the potty” — I threw out after I had my “I’m not rinsing out any other pairs of underwear” incident!
The brilliant idea to make the “child who would not do #2 on the potty” scrub the underwear.
The baby who refused to drink a bottle on the first two times offered, but would accept on the third try.
The infant who refused a pacifier after it was offered at naptime who I found in the bassinet with the pacifier resting on his head.
The toddler who found my stash of pacifiers that were offered but never accepted in a drawer in the days leading up to the birth of our new baby. Yep, the toddler proudly walked around sucking on a pacifier for weeks. I even found some hidden in pajamas and her bed.
The infant who slid out of back seat of the double stroller at Chi Chi’s after Daddy did NOT fasten the belt. I saw the stroller moved back, looked in the stroller, did not see the infant, panicked as I thought she had been kidnapped, and then looked down to find her on the floor of the restaurant amid crushed tortilla chips.
Another Chi Chi’s incident…this time from a “I won’t eat anything toddler” who threw a cup of yogurt that hit the chair of an enormous, muscly guy. I was able to clean up the yogurt without him noticing. Phew.